Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Thoughts on Pregnancy & Newborns

The growing pains were so strange for me, just felt like my balance was outa-wack and my skin was itchy from pulling so much. It’s an amazing experience, even if I could not breathe half the time. Mostly it was scary not knowing what to expect half the time. I don’t do real well with the unknown…

I thought I did very well with the prenatal weirdness (read: only considered divorce two or three times!) but Wayne has a totally different view. Is just hard to have daily out if body experiences where you know its irrational – demanding fresh donuts at 4am, thinking that if he walks past those dishes in the sink one more time you’re basically going to be a single parent – but you can’t help yourself sometimes. Truthfully there were plenty of times I held myself back – God knows what I would have done if I had just let loose! :) In fairness Wayne was really great, we were just both feeling our way.

As amazing, fun, emotional and wonderful the whole experience is, it’s also scary and scary and scary. During my most emotional times, like when the doctors were pushing for a scheduled C and I was holding out for a “semi-natural” birth (when my belly was measuring 4+ weeks ahead of schedule) or about a week after we brought her home and I was scared to be left alone with her, I mean what did I know about a newborn – it’s hard to remember that you’re a newbie a the whole mommy thing and to cut yourself some slack.

No comments: